More to the point, I hate my property.  I hate the driveway at the back of my house which borders along neighbors property.  I hate the fact that I have no garage. That I can never finish the basement. That I can never have a good nites sleep cause the place its too damn small and hot.

Don't get me wrong,I love my house in the Spring and Summer. The garden is lovely, the patio divine, and friends coming over makes my day in the best way. But, onces fall / winter rolls around. I despise it.  The house feels tight and makes no excuses about it. It can be obtuse with its odd angels. And it is my belief  that the house is too small for children.

To the point, where my husband thinks (sometimes) that we shouldn't consider having them any more. Because the house should make that decision for us.

Sigh. I personally think it is one of the worst mistakes I have ever made in entire life.  I have tried to live with few regrets, focusing on who and what I love and balancing it with trying to make ends meet. But this House makes me feel super regret. Buyer's remorse of the highest caliber.  

My husband knows how I feel. Maybe just not the extent that I really would like to sell the goddamn thing and move. But, it's only been a year since we purchased the place.  And that is not going to happen after only living here for a year.  If only I could have garage and little more space, I would be fine.

Oh, and clear boundary lines.  That would be nice too. Something that keeps that weird old coot of a neighbor of mine away.

But, I am told we won't be making any changes for years, and so I have to live with my foolish mistake. I settled for the sake of my husband, when I bought a house and I shouldn't have. A person should never settle. They should strive for what they want.

Am I going to go through this every winter?? I thought a temporary car shelter would help, but it's more of a pain than anything else. It's been up for a week and has nearly blown down twice. And the tarp covering it has let go.  I suspect the whole shelter will be in my neighbour yard in the coming weeks. Then we will be back to square one.   grunting and shoveling our way through a winter so that I can appreciate my home again in the spring and summer. And prepare for the other season or two out of the year that I hate the purchase with a passion.

Thought me a lesson. Never settle. No matter what. 

Why can't I be happy with this house/property? It is what it is. My husband adjusts. But he also has trouble matching his clothing colours correctly ... =P Why is it he can think the house is fine and everything will get done - in his own time frame of 10-20 years.  I am unsure if I can wait that long.  If after 1 year I want to sell it, what will I feel like in 5, let alone 10? 

I hope I can change my attitude or this will destroy so many other happy things in my life.  But stil, I'd really love to move back to Waterloo again. I miss it.

M.

 I seriously think Canada is suffering from Electoral Dysfunction.  Why are we currently in an election? Was it because Harper saw his polls going up and his chance for a Majority? Was it that Parliament could not function anymore?  Was it that Canada - in its weird envious relationship with its older sibling to the south - caught election fever after the Hillary /Obama ordeal, then the Palin/McCain scenario?

Perhaps it was all of these things and perhaps it was only one of them. What ever the cause, we are suffering from Electoral Dysfunction. Why? Because we've just spend 300 million on an election that will accomplish nothing except shuffle around a few seats (though, I could be wrong). My prediction is that we will see a Harper Minority, with a shift in the opposition seats mainly. Harper claims he couldn't make Parliament work last time - so, how can he accomplish it this time with the same numbers?  Honestly, I believe most Canadians would have preferred if our government sucked it up and worked together instead of bickering and complaining.

Furthering my prediction, we will see an election in a year or two. Harper's gov will try its best to steer the country, but will falter running deficits and trying to pull together an out-dated economy.  The liberal party will - most likely - choose a new leader within that time who the party thinks will offer better leadership and clear vision for the country. Expect an seasoned white guy from Toronto, Ontario.
 
Again, I could be wrong, but the reasoning behind my Liberal thought is that the recent Ontario election showed us the lack of loyalty in parties now-a-days - John Tory didn't get elected, didn't re-energize that party (as most thought he would), offered some controversial ideas, and he and the party failed. His party is now divided and looking for a new leader.  Sadly, I think the same thing will happen here. Dion, while a great thinker, isn't capturing the hearts and minds of Canadians, be it be Media Hype leading people to believe that, or personal thoughts or intuition. However, you feel about it, he didn't step up to the plate as a leader in the same way we have seen Layton and May.

But, perhaps I am wrong in my thoughts. I guess we shall find out tonight and in the coming months. However, I still think we need to be asking our government the question - You couldn't make Parliament work last time, so., how can you accomplish it this time with so little changed?  I just wish that the Liberals and NDP get enough seats to present a hard opposition to the Conservatives in th days to come. Truly, though, I would like those parties to get enough seats that the whisper of "coalition" echoes through the halls of Parliament.

With a bottle of wine, me naked, the roof of  the local library, and finally the rising sun.

Well, beer and chicken wings don't solve *everything* ... apparently. But it sure is a fun way to discuss the topics. Or avoid them, depending on the mood. Do I think Robert Mugabe and Morgan Tsvangirai would make peace in Zimbabwe over beer and chicken wings? No. But the presence of these two items possibly couldn't hurt.

Politics. Meh. Will we have a fundamental shift, massive protests, or civil unrest over politics and ideals? No. Over gas prices, Tim Hortons coffee, and getting equal prices like the U.S. for DVDs, CDs, and crap ... Yes. That is the type of people Canadians are becoming, unfortunately. We get pissed off over paying 18.99 for a CD on amazon.ca when we can the same thing on amazon.com for 8.99, but not over the failings of our government's duties and responsibilities.

Christ (though, coming from an atheist, that means little in terms of swearing), I am still shocked people are hopping mad over the manufacturing sector declining, and blaming those with foreign cars on the problem and NOT even considering the millions upon millions of Canadian revenue lost because of those who cross border shop on a regular basis. This argument came up at work recently, and one person got testy over my Toyota Echo. "My Toyota was built in Cambridge, Ontario," I argued. "How were those last three American shopping trips you took where you said you spent nearly a thousand each time?" I retorted. Because *that* does so much good for our local economy? (oohhhh SNAP!)

Politics is politics and one politician is the same as another - to a certain degree. Some of the far-right ones, though, scare the shit out of me. Those are the ones I fight to keep out. Sadly, that didn't work the last time. And I doubt it work this time. =/ I am just not interested this time. Our left is just too shattered to form a cohesive governing unit.

Now, if you will excuse, I have a protest letter to write over soaring gas prices, need a large double-double, and I am trying ordering a bunch of cheap crap from Amazon.com that I really don't need but that hopefully will fill that aching void of empty meaning in my life, whilst I ponder why Sam the Record Man went under.

Sometimes, I just don't know what to say. Canada is in election mode, and I hate it.

Politics. My political stripes have come in a variety of colours, just like my favorite shirts. I try to vote for the best candidate I think would be for the job, based on their arguments and policies, then party second. To date, I have voted PC, LIB, NDP, and Green, but not the new Conservatives.

However, at this stage of the game, I am just voting for the party that won't split the left and that will keep Harper out of a majority. Sadly, I think this election will only shuffle a few seats. Ah, tax-payer dollars at work.

And yes, Harper's ads suck monkey balls, I must add. I nearly vommed when I saw the "lest we forgot" talking to veterans about how important they were, followed by the message that Harper is the man for the leadership job, or some such nonsense. Boys with their toys pushing each other around in the sandbox. And poor Elizabeth May keeps getting sand in her eye.

Sigh. I am getting incensed over this waste of an election. I think I need chicken wings and beer. +P it fixes everything.